PREDICTIONS

We predict this girl will get so drunk before the game that she pukes before halftime and leaves with a 45-year-old creative writing teacher named Tim, who is still working on his masters. She won't remember the unprotected sex or Tim's lesions. Tim wasn't nearly as drunk, but he won't remember her name until she unwittingly signs up for his class the following semester.

Week 1

GREG: ECU 21, Duke 20 (1-0)
I believe this game makes or breaks our season. And by making it, I mean winning five games at best, so the bar is not too high. If we lose this one, it'll be a looooooong year.

RON: ECU 24, Duke 14 (1-0)
Duke has no game film to prepare, was a horrible team last year, and we are at home. I am at my most optimistic right now.

MATT: ECU 24, Duke 21 (1-0)
A blocked field goal at the end of regulation ensures Pirate payback for the embarrassment of ending Duke's 23-game skid.

ROBB: ECU 17, Duke 3 (1-0; 1-0, ATS)
Revenge. I was there the day that Randy Cuthbert ran all over Steve Logan's pathetic defense and humiliated us in Durham. Logan had taken out an ad in the East Carolinian looking for a punter. Before the game, a coach was watching me boot footballs 50 yards down the field to a buddy in Wallace Wade. I would never play for Logan. (True story.)

Week 2

GREG: Wake Forest 17, ECU 14 (1-1)
We might keep this one close, but it'll be a loss at the end of the day. A guy on my block went to Wake Forest. He's already talking crap. Man, just once I'd like to be the crap talker ...

RON: ECU 21, Wake Forest 17 (2-0)
No way Wake makes it three\ in a row against us … just can't see it. If we beat Duke, I will feel much better about this pick.

MATT: Wake Forest 49, ECU 21 (1-1)
Jim Grobe's Demon Deacs continue to master the Pirates. The loss quieted talk of bowl eligibility that had surfaced after the Duke win.

ROBB: Wake Forest 32, ECU 12 (1-1; 1-1 ATS)
Embarrassing. What's worse is, we don't cover and I lose $100.

Week 3

GREG: West Virginia 31, ECU 3 (2-1)
Skip will need to coach a little humility after this one. Not that that is a bad thing. Taking a thumping builds character that we'll need next year and beyond. Teach them well oh wise one ...

RON: West Virginia 35, ECU 20 (2-1)
WVU is supposedly really down this year, therefore the closer score predicted.

MATT: West Virginia 56, ECU 14 (1-2)
The Pirates hung tough through the first half, but the Mountaineers began running the ball at will against a tired East Carolina defense in the second half.

ROBB: West Vagina 28, ECU 27 (1-2; 2-1 ATS)
We let a win slip through our hands like a fart through denim. Ahhhh, memories of Adrian Murrell.

Week 4

GREG: Southern Miss 28, ECU 17 (2-2)
We'll get real pumped up for this one. But, I don't see us getting them this year. Next year baby ... we're biding our time ...

RON: Southern Miss 20, ECU 17 (2-2)
USM owns our ass and, until I see otherwise, I don't see it changing this year either, despite being at home.

MATT: ECU 17, Southern Miss 14 (2-2)
A huge win for the Pirates as they beat their age-old nemesis with a mixture of solid defense and a gutsy fake punt on 4th and 4 that led to a touchdown.

ROBB: Southern Miss 20, ECU 17 (1-3; 3-1 ATS)
I remember asking, "How the f#ck do you say that guy's name?" After Favre tore up our D, I remember saying, "He'll never be much in the NFL." I also remember losing to them on national TV. Mike Anderson threw 5 INTs because Logan had him throwing into dime coverage. We had two RBs that averaged over 10 yards a carry in the game, but Logan refused to utilize them. Things have changed since then, but we still lose.

Week 5

GREG: ECU 21, Rice 14 (3-2)
Win number two. We're not exactly playing USC but it'll be win number two.

RON: ECU 28, Rice 10 (3-2)
Rice is the first of three games our JV should be able to beat. Not a good team.

MATT: ECU 49, Rice 14 (3-2)
The Pirates win big as Skip Holtz's offense finds its groove. The Pirates would have tacked on a field goal if not for a 15-yard excessive celebration penalty knocked them out of range as time ran out.

ROBB: ECU 69, Rice 0 (2-3; 4-1 ATS)
Rice is Duke Lite and we guzzle the keg.

Week 6

GREG: ECU 28, SMU 21 (3-3)
.500 baby. Granted, we ain't playing the elite teams, but I'd sign up for 3 and 3 after 6 games right now (8/30/05).

RON: ECU 35, SMU 7 (3-3)
SMU was destroyed by Rice … so, this is our one game that should be a romp for ECU, no matter how bad we are.

MATT: ECU 24, SMU 21 (3-3)
The Pirates conquest over Texas continued in a game that shouldn't have been as close as the score indicated.

ROBB: ECU 69, SMU –2 (3-3; 5-1 ATS)
SMU is Rice Lite. Guzzle.

Week 7

GREG: Memphis 24, ECU 10 (3-4)
Another let down. Memphis is a good team, though. Future Hall of Fame collegiate football coach Skip Holtz (as I will be referring to him as at this point in the season) will use this defeat as a master motivational device in preparation for the UCF game ...

RON: Memphis 21, ECU 10 (3-4)
Memphis is going to be one of the better teams in the league — and too tough for us this year.

MATT: Memphis 38, ECU 10 (3-4)
Pirate nation returned to Earth as a clearly bigger, better team thoroughly manhandles East Carolina. Calls for an AP ranking are also quieted.

ROBB: Memphis 17, ECU 14 (3-4; 6-1 ATS)
Beale Street is Bourbon Street Lite. It's also where Matt abandoned me and Ron after yet another loss in the Liberty Bowl. Since Matt had the car, we had to walk to the hotel in the freezing cold. We didn't even know where the hotel was but Memphis is really safe for two drunk white guys at 3 in the morning. A few minutes after we close the door to our room, cursing Matt's name the whole time, he knocks. He was very chipper and told us a wild tale of crazy happenings in Memphis night.

Week 8

GREG: ECU 31, UCF 0 (4-4)
BOOM!!! All that pent-up frustration from years of poor play coupled with Master Holtz's brilliant defensive schemes, result in one of the most lop-sided victories in ECU history. It will warrant no mention on ESPN News that evening.

RON: ECU 35, UCF 13 (4-4)
This is a horrifyingly bad team. We should consider 1AA if we lose this game.

MATT: Central Florida 24, ECU 21 (4-4)
Coach O'Leary catches the Pirates sleeping. Central Florida comes expecting to win, but the Pirates came expecting an easy victory.

ROBB: Central Florida 27, ECU 24 (3-5; 7-1 ATS)
Have you seen UCF Coach George O'Leary's resume? He ends up a golden domer after all.

Week 9

GREG: ECU 18, Tulsa 16 (5-4)
Yet another weak win, but this one gets us one game over .500. I know nothing about Tulsa, except we should beat any team nicknamed the Golden Hurricanes. What is that ... 125 mph pee streams?

RON: ECU 28, Tulsa 10 (5-4)
Again, Tulsa is another team that is horrible. We should win without any excuses.

MATT: Tulsa 42, ECU 21 (4-5)
The Pirates looked positively uninspired in their loss to the Golden Hurricanes. Poor execution on offense and lackluster defense marred the game from start to finish. After the loss, the first Pirate fan officially called for Skip Holtz to be fired.

ROBB: ECU 26, Tulsa 10 (4-5; 8-1 ATS)
Despite the win, I call for Holtz to be fired.

Week 10

GREG: ECU 13, Marshall 27 (5-5)
In a lot of ways, Marshall has become what we would have liked to have become. I'm glad they're in C-USA now. My mom went to Marshall and Matt and I went to ECU. The two teams played one of the most exciting offensive bowl games a couple of years back. And, back in 1970, the entire Marshall football team died in a plane crash returning from an ECU game. There is a definite ECU/Marshall connection. I respect them ... We'll kick their cousin marrying, moonshining, sheep lovin' arses back to the Appalachian mountains next year .... Yeee Hawww!

RON: ECU 24, Marshall 10 (6-4)
Though Marshall is not such a good team on paper, I believe that there is a bit of a rivalry here. Still, I believe ECU wins.

MATT: ECU 38, Marshall 17 (5-5)
The Pirates bounced back from a three-loss skid to beat the mighty Thundering Herd in their own house. James Pinkney passed for more than 500 yards in the victory.

ROBB: Marshall 31, ECU 24 (4-6; 9-1 ATS)
Marshall has become what ECU could have been. The only way we win this one is if their plane crashes before the game this time.

Week 11

GREG: UAB 21, ECU 20 (5-6)
Yep, we'll miss a winning season to UAB ... friggin' UAB ... Man, I
remember when UAB was like Arkansas State. Now they're a G**Damn C-USA title contender! It's OK, though, because Sensei Holtz will bring us to the promised land eventually. He (and I) hope to look back on this season as a true rebuilding year.

Next year, boys, next year.

RON: UAB 21, ECU 20 (6-5)
If season goes as I predict, I think this will be a great home game, but I believe UAB is better.

MATT: UAB 14, ECU 10 (5-6)
In a hard-fought game, with both teams playing for bowl eligibility, the Blazers won out in a game decided by physical conditioning. UAB scored their go-ahead touchdown on the final drive of the game.

ROBB: ECU 27, UAB 26 (5-6; 10-1 ATS)
Logan's legacy was always to beat a team like Miami one week (where are you Scott Harley?) and the turn right around and lose to g'damn UAB, ruining any hopes of a good bowl game. Enter Skip Holtz. I love you Skippy. Those days are over. Sure, we go 4-7, but we beat the teams were supposed to beat, play every game as well as we can and we never have a letdown week. Most importantly, we cover 10 of 11 against the spread.