East Carolina Grad Thinks East Carolina A State

Hilarious. From The Onion:

JACKSONVILLE, FL—At a press conference Monday, Jaguars quarterback and East Carolina University alum David Garrard indicated through certain statements to reporters that "East Carolina" is one of the 50 United States. "I can say without hesitation that it is definitely my favorite of all the Carolinas," said the former ECU Pirate, who, when pressed, identified the imaginary commonwealth's capital as Greenville and its state bird as the red-necked grebe. "There's just this enormous sense of state pride over there that I felt as soon as came across the North Carolina border. And it's a progressive state, too: Did you know Obama carried East Carolina?" Garrard later told reporters that if he had to choose one state to live in, it would be between Western Kentucky and Ball State.